Music is Life

For as long as I can remember – and I have some very early memories in this, I have lived and breathed music. It is by far, hands down, with no competition, the most
powerful influence and source of energy, inspiration, flow and way of healing
for me.

Nobody and nothing can compete with it. I know this, after years and years of having been in situations where most people choose to focus on the situation/person at hand
(sometimes literally), finding myself being absorbed by the music also present,
completely pulling me in, and away from what ever else is going on around me;
be it a romantic dinner, great songs, (where I can´t hear the lyrics because of
the music) and so on.

So the earliest memories I have of being completely knocked out by music is
when I at a very early age, I´m guessing 4ish, use to lie in front of one of
the loudspeakers under a table in the living room , listening and ultimately
falling asleep to the music coming from the radio. Every single day. Waking up
x time later with a blanket on me, that my mother had put on me. It´s safe to
say that this is the only context in my childhood that they knew where to find
me. The rest of the time it is equally safe to say that I was not the kind of
child to be found where they had put me in the first place…

Curiosity runs deep to the core in me. Since the beginning. Of my time.

My mother shared her love of music with me. Always singing at home. Many
times to me, many times with me. My father couldn´t hold a tone to save his
life. He gave me my love for sports which is another important area in my life.

My parents had a large social life so they had many parties at home and went
to many parties as well. I was always with them. After dinner there would be
lots of music and dancing, many international songs but also lots of music of a
very typical Swedish kind that we call “dansbandsmusik”. A big part
of Swedish musical culture.

We, my parents and paternal grandparents, used to go to the big city of
Malmö, to the theatre to see musicals/operettas such as “Kiss me
Kate”, Show boat, Csardasfurstinne and others. Now that was a whole
different musical experience! Live music, from a stage, with an orchestra.
People went dressed in long gowns with matching long sleeved gloves, lots of
jewelry, high heals and black ties. I´m talking about the audience 🙂

This gave me the love for a completely different kind of music. Music that I
didn´t hear at home. Opera. We had a dog, Bianca, a white little poodle, and
every time the radio played opera she howled like a wolf to the moon, whereby I
ran to the radio and turned it way down until the opera was over. Not a fan,
she was.

At the age of 7, my parents and grandparents bought me a piano. I have been
blessed with really good and human piano teachers (not the overly strict and
penalizing ones that seem to be common.) Teaching by fear is not a fruitful
strategy in anything, but encouraging the behavior you want – is.

So I have been playing the piano since the ripe age of 7. I started writing
my own material at 14 and have been doing that ever since. It´s been a long
while now cause I´m living without a piano for the past several years. Getting
closer to ending that very soon. Looking forward to that so very much. A very
important part of me is missing.

I sing, whilst playing the piano, though singing in public has never been my
thing. I feel very vulnerable doing that. Naked. Bare soul. With my
songwriting, I wanted to know what my songs would sound like recorded, with
more instruments and harmonies, so my grandmother paid for making this happen.
Recording 3 songs in a studio, and then picking 2 that ended up on a single, an
EP. With this, came a lot of local hype, which I was very uncomfortable with.
All I wanted was to make the recording, for me. The same way that when I´m sitting
by a piano playing and singing it´s for me. So I made a very conscious choice
back then; I was 19, that I am not going to pursue a path in music. I don´t
want the hype, the attention. My music is for me.

Many years later, in 2014, I would be persuaded to sing in public here in
Malta – karaoke :-). And I kept doing that for a couple of years. Feeling
exactly the same; very vulnerable. Naked. Bare soul. But his time I chose it
very intentionally, to walk my talk when it comes to living wholeheartedly,
which includes choosing courage over comfort. Walking with fear and feeling
vulnerable. Cause every time we do that – we grow. And my growth game is
strong! A lot of that is thanks to music. Past and present. Music builds
bridges. Connects people. With others and with self.

I have started a Spotify list, currently named “Music that shaped me” (which might change over time. Welcome to my Musical world – past and present. Sing, dance, BE! Enjoy!